Introduction: This budget GBA release from publisher DSI and developer Full Fat plumbs the depths of gaming awfulness. Based on the retro Mattel toy of the same name Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots pits a variety of battling robots against each other in different arenas. Well - I say 'variety' - what I actually mean is the same robot painted different colours to give the impression of variety. OK, so the original game just had two identical blue and red robots, but come on guys - some imaginative robot design would have been nice. But, considering the quality of the rest of the game, it's not unexpected.

GamePlay: There are three modes available - though I fail to see the point in providing more than one. The modes are: Classic, Versus and Title Fight. Classic pitches 'Red Rocker' against 'Blue Bomber' - replicating the red versus blue of the toy. Versus lets you set up a bout between any of the ten available robots. In this mode you are presented with a laughable set of stats for each robot - with figures for speed, reach, block and weight. But it's obvious that this is just filler material to try to make it seem to have more content that it really does. None of these stats matter one jot while in a fight. In Versus mode you fight each robot in turn; beating them all unlocking a different coloured robot for you to fight the same opponents all over again, and again, and again.

Some mild amusement can be had from the smack talk from your opponent before you get into the ring - the term 'goat roper' will probably be lost on anyone outside of the US though! Deliberately lose (and that's the only way you can), and you'll get a few gems like: 'You hit the canvas faster than an egg out of a loose goose' and 'I win, now give me your lunch money'. But with the same phrases used over and over again, you'll just be pressing A repeatedly to get to the next fight - if that is you can be bothered to carry on.

Control: The robots move left and right, with the A and B buttons being used to punch with the left and right arms. They can also jump, block and deliver powered up hits that gradually fill up a 'special' bar. Filling this bar lets you perform the robots unique attack move by pressing A and B together. Pound you opponent enough and your taken to a mini-game where you alternately tap the left & right shoulder buttons to build up to a finishing move - literally knocking the opposing robots block off. This part of the game can actually be the trickiest, with pretty rapid mashing of the buttons required. Sometimes it seemed to take ages to achieve the killer move, with serious finger cramp starting to set in. Younger players may find this tricky - although my two kids found it OK (and by the way, they agree that the game sucks).

It all sounds fine - until you realise that you can defeat your opponent by just walking up to them and repeatedly pressing the A button - no special moves or power ups required. The non-existent robot AI (if indeed there is any) makes each bout laughably easy and this makes completing the game just a matter of not falling asleep while playing it.

Graphics: As already mentioned, Rock'Em Sock'Em does not set the world on fire with the quality of its graphics. Though the smack-talking robot heads are all different, during the fight itself they are all just re-colours of the same model. The robots lurch backwards & forwards, throwing poorly animated punches & special moves. The in game menus are adequately done & work well - but they don't hide the fact that there is no substance under the surface.

Sound & Music: The game boasts a limited selection of audio treats - plinky keyboard music during the menus (which you'll just be skipping through as fast as you can anyway), followed by a thrashy guitar track during the fight & a scratchy 'punch' sample.

Final Comments: In conclusion - steer well clear. It may be within reach of even the meanest of pocket money allowances but you'd be advised to keep saving and pick up a far, far better game - indeed any game - just not Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots.

Pro: None
Con: Zero long term appeal, poor graphics, irritatingly simple gameplay.
Final Score: 2.0


Reviewed by: Douglas Andrews